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Monday, April 4, 2011

Watch Your Step! The Dog Poop Land Mines

Sidewalk dog poop has forced local residents to walk around as if they are "trying to avoid land mines," says Union City, NJ mayor (and New Jersey State Senator) Brian Stack.

Stack proposes doubling the local fine for not picking up after your doggie from $250 to $500.
Memo to Mike Bloomberg: Giving tickets to inconsiderate dog owners would be a political winner in New York.  There are more non-dog owners than dog owners.  Instead of persecuting small business owners who drive into the Citycracking down on drivers and parkers, removing parking spots, jacking up the rates for the remaining spots and otherwise making it hostile for anyone to make a delivery in Manhattan south of 96th Street, you should have your traffic agents (formerly known as "brownies") issue summonses for dog waste.
 Continuing this blog's recent trend of concentrating on hygienic violaions and public health hazards (some of which can be cured with professional help) dog owners and walkers should be advised that their hands do not stay "clean" merely because they use a plastic bag to collect and dispose of the canine waste.  Plastic is permeable, and those hands get soiled and odoriferous. (This means that the hands of dog walkers qualify as among the dirtiest, filthiest and most toxic objects in all of New York.)  Soap and water -- preferably hot water and plenty of soap, scrubbed together for a minimum of a few hours minutes, are needed to make you safe for human contact. 

Incidentally, for the New Jersey tax-cutters out there, Stack's proposed dog poop fine increase qualifies as a hidden tax, however worthy.  This continues the trend of user fees replacing direct, overt taxes as revenue-raisers in New Jersey.  It is worth noting that Senator Stack is one of the leading Democratic allies (DINO: Democrat in name only) of Republican rock star and next president of the United States Governor Chris Christie 

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